Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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