Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
