Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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