Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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