she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
