It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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