24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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