It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
