yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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