I wish I could punch you in the face.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
