i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
