At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
