I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
