it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
