Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
