i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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