Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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