I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I AM VODKA MAN
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
