help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
