You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
