OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
