I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
