Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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