I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize