We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
