I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
