so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
