..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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