The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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