There r osticjed everywhere
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
