you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
