I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
