do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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