Porn is love you can see.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
