This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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