she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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