Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
