i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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