I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
