I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
