Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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