Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
