I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
