Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
