Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
