you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
