a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
as a side note pls kill me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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