did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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