____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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