PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
