I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
