Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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