just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
