is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
