It's Friday. Sex?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
