is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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