Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
