I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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