dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
