he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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