"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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