Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
