Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
