how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
