exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
