Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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