Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
