Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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